Got Testimony?

Sunday, December 16, 2012

It's been a ridiculously long time since I've written a blog post.
I will do updates and catching up later. For now, I feel prompted to bear my testimony.
I was listening to John Bytheway's talk "What I Wish I Knew Before My Mission". Thank you to one of my besties, Sara Deeks! She got me a bunch of John BTW talks for my 21st birthday. As you can see, my prep for the mission is being nourished by dear friends. Anywho, one thing that stood out to me while I was listening to this talk was this: "A TESTIMONY IS FOUND IN THE BEARING OF IT".

Hmm. How often have I been asked in the past few weeks--with all those bishop/stake president interviews and mission talk--to bear my testimony? Not much. Haha. Sorry for the suspense. But in all seriousness, I don't bear my testimony as much as I should be. It's a scary thing for me. I know right? This girl plans to serve a mission and she's scared to bear her testimony. (I am quite often disappointed with myself). Over the past few weeks I have said this more than I ever had: I REALLY need to work on bearing my testimony...and I really need to learn not to cry when doing it.

But when I think about the times I've given talks and cried (for each and every one of them. My ward must be tired of it hahaha), it's because I felt the spirit. I guess that's what reminds me that I even have a testimony. Knowing what I am speaking about is something that is so true and dear to my life reminds me what a beautiful and true Gospel this is. I am SO lucky to have my life centered around it.

Over the past year I haven't always been my positive, usual self. It's been a tough year. Don't worry, nothing tragic has happened. There have just been quite a few trials that have gotten me all worked up and left me feeling like I don't know what to do anymore. This is all new to me. Never have I ever been forced to kneel and pray and cry to Heavenly Father for a bit of comfort to help me get through.

I guess I want to use this time and opportunity to do what I made this blog for. Bear my testimony.

I know without a doubt in my mind and heart that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. The Gospel is here for me to learn how I can return to live with my Father in heaven again despite the trials and temptations of the world. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. I could just say "the Godhead", but each of them individually has such a huge impact on my life.

First, the relationship with my Father. Heavenly Father is my main man. I can't even describe how much love I have felt from Him this past year. He has provided me with so much; things I both needed and wanted. He gave 'em to me just like that. I am truly a blessed daughter of God. My mom always reminds me: "how can you not serve your mission when Heavenly Father has provided you with so much to make it possible to serve". And it's true. Everything that was ever a concern has been either fulfilled, provided for, or received. I can't thank Him enough. I really do need to do my best, with no regret, to fulfill this mission for Him. I know that's what He needs me to do and I'm going to do it.

Second, the relationship with my Brother. Jesus Christ has done everything and more for me, for my family, and for the world. I've been reading (slowly, but surely), The Infinite Atonement by Elder Tad R. Callister (I love that man. He was the mission president in Toronto and my sister and I hold him and his wife quite near and dear to our hearts). Reading that book gives you a whole new perspective on the Atonement and the sacrifice Christ has made for all of us. How can you not feel that love when you think about how huge of a sacrifice both Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ made for all mankind. Do I feel deserving of it? Of course not. Am I deserving of it? Most definitely.

Third, the relationship with my Best Friend. The Spirit...woah. I've written blog posts about this before. I am so grateful that I learned to recognize and follow the promptings of the Spirit when I did. Remember: everything happens for a reason! I had to go through a heartbreaking trial to learn that. But I am so very grateful for it. The amount of times I  needed the Spirit to guide me over the past year is countless. If I didn't learn how to recognize the Spirit when I did, I wouldn't have known that it was finally the right time to serve. I wouldn't have known all the things I needed to do proceeding that confirmation. It'a divine guidance, guys. If you haven't learned to recognize it yet, I recommend you do so.

The Gospel is true. God is good. Why not be happy? I'm grateful for my family, especially my parents who have raised me to make the Gospel such a huge part of my life. I'm grateful for my little sisters who are such good examples to me. I'm grateful that I have friends who share the same beliefs, who are able to uplift me as we trudge (and enjoy) this mission or earth together. God lives. Jesus is the Christ. I say these things in the  name of Jesus Christ, amen.

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