You Need to Fight Your Fight, Sister Limas

Monday, February 24, 2014

So this week has been way interesting. Working in a tri is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I looove being with Sister Rouse and Sister Sudweeks. We have tons and tons of fun and I've been learning a TON from Sister Sudweeks. But I just had a super hard time feeling the Spirit this week because I was just feeling super inadequate compared to them, and just feeling left out sometimes. Stupid Satan. He needs to not do that. I hate how he takes little things and magnifies them to bug me. UGHHHH.

Anyway, all week Sister Fernandez's voice kept popping into my head:
"You need to fight your fight, Sister Limas".

She said that to me in Paris after teaching a minister. She told me about her karate experience and how she was doing real bad in her sparring during one of their competitions. Her teacher pretty much told her, "if you don't fight your fight, you're never going to win. Don't use their moves to fight them. Use yours to beat them". Her pro move was doing a kick in the air (sorry for my lack of karate terminology haha), and when she fought the last person, she pretty much beat him to shreds hahaha. So moral of the story, she told me if I try to fight a battle using the other person's tactics, I'm not going to win. I need to fight MY fight.

So that line just kept going through my head over and over and over again. Just because I felt like all of a sudden I didn't know how to do missionary work anymore. Weird, I know. Like I felt like I was doing something wrong in my teaching as I was watching the way Sis Sudweeks taught and stuff (yeah I'm chastizing myself. Don't worry). And I kept waiting on Sis Rouse to do something because I was a little tired of being senior and making the decisions, especially when the Spirit was really guiding me to make them. And they are always jamming on the ukelele and harmonizing, and when they tell me to join in I just completely ignore them cuz I can't do either of that. On Saturday I completely broke down after one of our lessons in Farmington because it was just way to awkward in their. There was no direction in the lesson whatsoever and the unity was ka-put. I just hate not being able to feel the Spirit. What made my anxiety go off the wall though was that we were supposed to speak on Sunday and I STILL didn't know what I was going to talk about. You know it's bad when the Spirit isn't directing even that. So I started my fast on Saturday night because I was just really desperate. I've been praying really hard all week because being in a tri is just straining. It's fun at times, but I was just so scatter-brained cuz everything in the apartment is all over the place, including our schedule because it's just different with 3 people and 2 areas to cover. 

Anyway, Sunday morning comes and I'm still not feeling the Spirit. I'm just like WHAT THE CHEESE?!?!?! I went to do studies in my room by myself and I was just not taking anything in. And when it came to comp study I was just all over the place. Ugh. All I could think was Why isn't this working?!?!?! I STILL wasn't gaining inspiration as to what I needed to talk about at church. Ayaaaa.

We get to church and I'm desperately looking for a program to see which of the three of us were bearing our testimony first. Yeah, didn't get one. I was panicking and I was thinking, I hope they go up first so at least I can get some sort of idea what exactly to bear testimony on. 

BUT, as I was sitting there praying as the sacrament was being passed, IT CLICKED!!!! I all of a sudden was filled with the Spirit and knew exactly what to bear my testimony on. Bro Chapman calls us up and both Sisters look at me and say, "you go first". I was like "fine". Ahahaha. Normally I probably would have been a little shaky being thrown under the bus like that, but I wasn't :) I knew the Spirit was there and was going to help me. So I got up there and talked about my decision to serve a mission and how gaining a testimony of the Atonement had influenced it. Then I bore testimony of Jesus Christ and the Atonement and I'm tearing up waterfalls. Then i said some stuff about member missionary work. But be proud of me. My voice was so calm ;) ahahhaa. 

Anyway, Sis Rouse told me she was glad I went up first cuz that set the tone for hers cuz she didn't know what to bear testimony of either. And then Bro Bassett (our ward mission leader) gets up to give his talk and he starts tearing up cuz he said that our testimonies made him emotional. Man, the Spirit was so strong in there! I was just soooo grateful cuz it was what I've been longing to feel all week. 

After church we did some weekly planning and man oh man the Spirit was totally guiding it all. I was so relieved. After not feeling it all week, I was just so happy it was guiding me again. I fought my fight. I took control of the weekly planning as the Spirit directed. Ideas for lessons were popping left and right. We had a last minute member lesson, and once again, lead out as the Spirit directed. Man, I can't even explain how awesome it feels to have my mouth filled with inspired questions from the spirit when I've felt tongue-tied all week. And to teach the way I know how to and NOT try to change it because of someone else. Goodness gracious. All Sunday evening though you could tell things were getting a little awks between the two other sisters. And so once again Sis Fernandez's advice to "fight my fight" popped into me head. I needed to do what I knew how to do. So I had some one-on-one time with the both of them just to ease whatever was on their mind. In other words, I went all Ate on them :P ahaha. But it was good.

.....And we were back to laughing by the end of the night. Whew, thank goodness. I am so pumped for this week!!!

Only thing is I'm sick...again :( But Im super grateful for Sister Sudweeks cuz all the pain I'm feeling right now, she's been through. So she's been doing a great job at giving me tips. I might have to go see a chiropractor though cuz the back and hip pains are totally doing me under. And I'm pretty sure I'm coming down with the flu cuz I was shivering like mad last night. Sis Sudweeks had to come and help warm me up cuz I was shaking so bad. 

ANYWAY, other than sicknesses which will be taken care of sooner or later, things are great :)

Last I just want to share something I read during studies this week. Sheri Dew says:

"Is it possible to be happy when life is hard? To feel peace amid uncertainty and hope in the midst of cynicism? Is it possible to change, to shake off old habits and become new again? Is it possible to live with integrity and purity in a world that no longer values the virtues that distinguish the followers of Christ?

"Yes. The answer is yes because of Jesus Christ, whose Atonement ensures that we need not bear the burdens of mortality alone...

"Through the years I, like you, have experienced pressures and disappointments that would have crushed me had I not been able to draw upon a source of wisdom and strength far greater than my own. He has never forgotten or forsaken me, and I have come to know for myself that Jesus is the Christ and that this is His Church. With Ammon I say, '[For] who can glory too much in the Lord? Yeah, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy....? Behold....I cannot say the smallest part which I feel' (Alma 26:16). I testify that in this, the twilight of the dispensation of the fulness of times, when Lucifer is working overtime to jeopordize our journey home and to separate us from the Savior's atoning power, the only answer for any of us is Jesus Christ". 

I will atest to that again and again. 
I love my Saviour. And He loves each and every one of us.
I bear my simple testimony of that in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I love you all!
be good! be obedient! be happy! and just love love love :)
and be prepared. most definitely that too!

Sister Limas

Me and my lovelies, Sister Rouse and Sister Sudweeks :)

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