Official NOOB Status

Monday, September 8, 2014

Soooooo I didn't realize till yesterday that I hit 16 months today. HOLY FLIP.
But can someone please explain to my WHY I still feel like a NOOB? Haha.

This area is quite the interesting one. I have come to realize how SPOILED I have been all through out my mission. I get here and I'm like "oh....missionaries have to deal with this?" Bahaha. Like climbing up two flights of stairs with heavy suitcases just to get to my apartment. Or having to do my laundry at a public laundry mat. What the cheese? Missionaries actually have to sacrifice more money than just soap and bleach? And I have to show I.D to use this dang computer? I DONT HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE. Oh soooo fail. It just makes me laugh. A lot. And it makes my companion laugh a lot too to see my expressions about all of it. Anyway, I'm just trying to soak it all in. "At least I get the full missionary experience" is what I tell my companion :p

I went on my first exchange this week.
My first exchange as a Sister Training Leader!
With Sister Richardson :)
And let me tellllllllll you, I stressed out like mad. I kept pacing back and forth around the apartment trying to make sure everything was good. And I was shuffling through and reviewing all my notes from MLC to remind myself of what we had even presented to everyone on how we were going to help our Sisters get 1 baptism per transfer. I want to be a good leader and make dang sure I'm going to do what I said I was going to do. ANYWAY, the exchange was UBER FUN. Sister Webster kept telling me that it was going to be fine and it was my chance to be in the area without her so I could put my white-washing skills into play. I knew she was right. I just have the tendency to get worked up with anticipation. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Sister Ash was right. I do worry too much about things I know are going to be perfectly fine haha. Sister Richardson, one of the Sisters in Crystal City, and I had a blast. We had some good girl talk and asking her about the details in her area were easy-peasy. I don't know why I thought it was going to be so difficult. I just put all my journalism skills into play. I had so much fun with it, it was awesome! I was slightly freaking out about the training I was going to give her at the end of the exchange. Why? I don't even know. It was even my idea that we should give our Sisters a little pow wow training, and now the time comes and I started worrying about it. SUCH A NOOOOOB. I haven't given a training in forever! BUT it went great.

I don't know why I'm like this. I do fine doing missionary work in my own area and just owning it, but then I get called to a certain assignment, like training or being an STL, and all of a sudden I feel like I don't know how to do work anymore. That's why I felt the way I did about exchanges. Since I got to Fenton, I've been studying the scriptures in the White Handbook and the letter from President about the new assignment so I know and understand what my responsibilities are. Like I said in my last email, counseling the other Sisters made me freeze over the phone. But as I had my experience with Sister Richardson, I realized it honestly was like dealing with an investigator--all I had to do was follow the Spirit. The only difference was that we were both missionaries, we have similar experiences, and she was trusting my experience to help me out with hers. Seriously, THANK GOODNESS FOR THE SPIRIT. As a leader, I can't give her advice or tell her to do something if I hadn't done it/experienced it already. And even though sometimes I feel like I'm inadequate to do things, I know the Lord qualifies:) The Spirit has brought to remembrance the things that I have been able to learn from my other areas so that I could turn to a page in Preach My Gospel to train my Sister on.

This is a random insert, but I just glanced at my companion's computer screen and she's stalking my profile. ROFL.

Anyway! So I really do feel like a noob when it comes to all of this stuff. But I am just so super grateful that the Spirit guides. WHEWWWWWWW.

Our whole district is struggling with finding new investigators though. Pray for us, please! I've been getting a little antsy because I just want to implement the game plan that has worked for me in other areas because I know I'm good at finding....but I'm not the type of person to just come waltzing in and saying "hey, we're going to do this now". But Sister Webster has been so great at trying to encourage me to share those strengths. I'm still leery about it, but I'm trying.

Debbie Gray, our super solid golden investigator, is FANTASTIC. I just love her sooo much. She is making so many changes! Not because we've told her to (because we really haven't), but because she WANTS to align her life with Christ's. AH. THIS IS WHY I LOVE MISSIONARY WORK SO MUCH. She is so great. I have no words to even describe how beautiful everything is. She had asked her son Julian (who is a convert that went less active but is becoming active again) if he felt anything at his baptism. He shared this conversation during testimony meeting on Sunday and said, "have you ever had that feeling when you see someone you are head over heels for and all of a sudden you're filled with so much love and passion. It's like that." OH GEEZ, THAT WAS DEEP. He reminded the whole congregation to "remember the love and passion you felt when you received the Sprit. Then you'll remember why we do what we do to have it with us". I seriously don't know what I'd do without the guidance of the Spirit in my life. I look back at feelings I got shortly after being baptized and confirmed, and realize that the Spirit has guided me through my life even though I didn't fully recognize it was him.

Last little thought :)
As the Sacrament was being passed on Sunday, I was reflecting on the Atonement and had to pull out my journal to start writing my thoughts. This is what I wrote:

"I'm reflecting on the Atonement and I just can't fully comprehend everything the Savior has done for me. I'm trying to. But I can't. Every day I'm learning something different about the Atonement and I literally "Stand all Amazed". Knowing myself, I love having a final grasp or understand of thing, but when it comes to the gospel of Jesus Christ and His Atonement, there's never a 'FINAL' grasp or understanding. The gospel is about progression. He atoned for us so we CAN progress. There's never a finality when it comes to eternity. So I may not understand all the HOWs or the WHYs of the Atonement. But I know He did it because He loves me. That's all I need to understand. That knowledge is enough."

Christ saw His us when He suffered. Why He chose to suffer for me when He has seen all my mistakes and weaknesses and times I chose to disobey Him, I will never understand. But He also the happiness I could feel, the joy that I could have, and the potential that I could reach. That's why He did it. None of it would be possible without Him. I bear witness of that in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Hope you all have a spirit-filled week!
Mom just told me that she told the Filipinos that when I said I'd "see you in 11 weeks", they all got excited. BAHAHAHA. I am too. Time is slipping and its dragging at the same time and its alllll over the place. But whatever. Life is good :)

Sister Limas

With the Crystal City Sisters: Sister Richardson & Sister Porter.

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