This week has been amazing!
Debbie was baptized on Saturday! Oh my goodness, it was the most amazing and most Spirit-filled baptism I've ever been to. Debbie was glowing. My heart couldn't even contain the happiness I felt for her. She was brimming with so much gratitude and love and joy. We were in the bathroom with her, waiting for her to change back into her dress, and we just kept singing, "oh happy day!!". She is so great. When we went back to the Relief Society room, it was our turn to do our surprise musical number. We have practiced the song countless amount of times over the past two weeks (especially because I wanted to have my alto solid), so you'd think that I'd be almost numb to what the lyrics said. APPARENTLY NOT. When it got to my solo, my voice started shaking, and half-way through it, I was choking up and crying.
As I sung those words, I couldn't hold back the tears. The words hit so true to me. As I looked at Debbie I saw someone who has let the love of Christ change her life. With all the things that Debbie had to give up to be where she's at now was only possible by recognizing His presence every single day; living grace by grace. I know the Savior's love has changed my life. And I know He did what He for me. I know it was for Debbie. I know it was for all of you. When it got to the last line, I couldn't help but smile. Debbie was beaming back at me. I knew deep down inside, both our hearts were yearning for the day when He calls us by name.
I've been doing a ton of reflecting the past couple of transfers, and no doubt with my last transfer coming up, more reflection is going to happen. A lesson we had this week was part of what triggered the tears.
On Thursday, we had a lesson with one of our newer investigators. The past couple of lessons with her have been a little difficult. She's always doing chores when we come over, and her kids are always getting into things, so it's just been really hard to just sit her down and teach her. Or so I thought. We watched a Mormon Message with her, and then I started asking her some questions about what she wanted for her family. There was a lot of silence in between her answers. She then got up to do something. I couldn't help but feel like I was failing so hard. But when she sat back down she started talking about wanting to be a good influence on her kids because one person makes the difference. Then she goes on to say, "you guys don't even know how much your visits have helped me. The last time you really got me thinking about things. We used to say recited prayers every night, but now we pray together from our hearts. I ask them questions to get them thinking about what they want to tell Heavenly Father".
I was sitting there in shock. The last lesson we had with her was soooo awkward. I was on exchanges and I felt somewhat embarrassed that the lesson was so far from ideal, especially when I was trying to set an example for this other sister. We had watched "Earthly Father, Heavenly Father" and talked about the love of a parent in comparison to Heavenly Father's love for us. At the end of the lesson, I had helped her 3 yr old say a prayer. I felt like nothing much had happened in that lesson. And to hear her say what she was saying just left me so flabbergasted. The way the Spirit works never ceases to amaze me.
She then starts crying and telling us all the things that have been going on in her life; mostly things having to do with anxiety and how its taken a toll on her health and how she lives. As we sat down and listened to her, my heart couldn't help but weep for her. My companion and I have both had to deal with our share of anxiety, and I still at times still have to deal with mine. The three of us had different circumstances and different results of anxiety, but it was something that effected our life nonetheless. As we talked about the Gospel and about the healing power of the Atonement, I felt at peace. For once I realized that maybe, just maybe, what I feel like is such a huge burden in my life needs to be in my life so I understand people like our particular investigator here. And maybe, just maybe, I can help them understand the love their Savior has for them because of His Atonement.
Although I've felt like its such a huge burden, I've come to learn--and have no doubt in my mind-- that its those loads that help me more fully rely on the Savior. I've complained multiple times, "ughhhh why does this have to happen to me". But what those things really do is bring me closer to my Savior. That makes the load worth it. That's what makes "sticking in there" matter to me.
So yeah, I didn't walk with the Savior.
But I know He is right behind all that I do, every single day.
And I didn't watch as He healed.
But I know that He has healed me spiritually, physically, and mentally multiple times. And I know that His love changes everything I do, for, and with my life. He knows better than I.
And I haven't seen the cross either.
But I know without a shadow of doubt that He did what He did because He loves me.
And when He bids me come, when He calls my name to meet Him, I will worship at His feet.
I bare you my testimony that He lives. He loves each and every one of you with love that can not be comprehended. I leave that with you in His sacred name, even Jesus Christ, amen.
Hope you all have a splendid week!!!
See you in 7 ;D
MUCHO LOVIN' (with more love that I know what to do with)
|EEEEEEEK. I screamed so loud when I got this in the mail! |
YOU TWO ARE SO STINKING CAAAAAUUUUTE!
|Exchanges with Sister Hayden :)|
|With the Webster Groves Sisters.|
Oh heyyyyy it's my "niece", my "grand-baby", and my comp all in one photo :D